*Information in this section was originally developed by a team that created website for families focused on ‘raising deaf kids” (see About Us). The content may have been edited or updated.
What becoming independent means
Like all parents, you want your child to grow up into a happy, healthy adult.
You want your child to be able to take care of herself by the time she is grown up.
You hope your child will have friends and a good job. You hope your child may start her own family one day.
Children have to learn a lot of different things before they can do all this. They need to learn how to:
- be responsible
- get along with other people
- save money
- and much more!
Learning these skills is all part of becoming independent. Becoming independent is a big part of growing up.
Remember: Children don't become independent overnight. It takes a lot of practice.
It can seem harder for children who are deaf or hard of hearing (DHH) to become independent. Some children who are DHH have a hard time communicating and that can make it harder to become independent. Some parents are always by their child's side, helping them talk to hearing people. Even young children can start doing small things to take care of themselves.
How to help your child become independent
Let your child make simple choices.
She can decide things like: Does she want to eat a hotdog or a hamburger? Does she want to go to the museum or a playground? Does she want to wear her blue sweater or her red jacket? Children who are DHH sometimes don't get as much of a chance as hearing children to decide things. Having your child make some decisions will show her that her opinion matters. It will also give her a feeling of control over some things. This is important for children who are DHH, who sometimes feel like things just seem to happen to them.
Teach your child to ask for things herself.
As an example, your child can tell the waiter what food she wants at a restaurant. She can ask for the ice cream flavor she wants. This might involve pointing to the item on a menu, using speech, or writing the item on a paper. This process can take more time for children who are DHH. It is important for your child to learn how to do these things for herself. You won't always be there to speak or interpret for her. And even though it might be hard at first, it will get a little easier each time. Your child will see that she can get along in the real world.
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Learning
to
ask for
what
she
wanted
-
on ice
cream
trips Even when she was just learning letters, Dairy Queen had a kids' meal in a box to which was attached a tag good for a cone at the end of the meal. She'd decide if she wanted chocolate or vanilla. I'd slowly fingerspell the word while she printed it on the back of the tag. Then she'd go to the counter alone with the tag and get the flavor she wanted. As she got older the notes got more complex, and she developed a real sense of independence at the same time.
—
Lorna |
Expect a lot from your child.
She will know if you let her get away with things that her brothers and sisters don't get away with, like not cleaning her room, or not doing her homework. Your child might need extra help with some things, but she can still do the same things as hearing friends and siblings. Think about what your child can and can't do. Make sure she knows that you expect her to do what she can.
Teach your child to take care of her hearing aids or cochlear implants.
If your child uses hearing aids or cochlear implants, then she needs to know how to use them even if you're not there to help. Show her how to put hearing devices in or on, and how to clean them. Show her how to check the batteries and change them. Teach her to tell a grown-up when devices are not working.
For more information, visit:
Frequently Asked Questions About Device Use (babyhearing.org)
Teach your child to be very careful but let her do the things that other children do.
For example, she can learn to ride a bike and cross the street by herself. Teach her to look both ways before she crosses the street. Make sure she knows that she might not hear a car horn.
Help her know she may need to rely on things she can see to stay safe. Put rear-view mirrors on her bike and teach her to look for cars behind her.
Have your child take some responsibility for communication with others.
Your child shouldn't always need you to translate what other people are saying. Teach her to ask people to repeat something if she didn't understand the first time. First show her how to talk to her teacher if she's missing part of the lessons in school, then encourage her to do it herself. She'll need to do these things when she's grown up. It'll be a lot easier if she starts practicing now.
Teach your child about money.
This is a good thing to do for all children, deaf, hard of hearing, or hearing. You might need to explain things about money for your child who is DHH that you wouldn't need to for a hearing child. That's because your child might miss incidental learning opportunities from listening in on conversations at the dinner table or in the car. Tell her what different things should cost. Tell her about saving money. When you feel she is old enough, give her a small allowance and let her decide how to spend the money. If she wants a toy that costs more money than she has, have her save her allowance until she has enough to buy it. Help her count and save money as she plans what she is going to buy.
We all make mistakes.
Tell your child it's okay to make mistakes. This makes your child feel safe if she makes a mistake. Most children learn a lot from their mistakes. They might not want to try again after making a mistake. Encourage your child to try new things, and let her know you're proud of her attempts, no matter what happens. Let her know you make mistakes too.
