The stories in these pages were originally contributed to a team that developed a website for families focused on “raising deaf kids” (See
About Us). Minor edits may have been made.
Let’s Meet:
-
Mavis – she shares thoughts about growing up as a young deaf woman
-
Demetra – she shares her thoughts about being deaf and living a full life
-
Denise–
she writes about her experiences in private school in 5th grade
-
Irene –
she tells us about the challenges she overcame to become a teacher of the deaf
-
Karen –
she
writes about being from a family where many members are deaf or hard of hearing
-
Kat–
she tells us how her hearing family helped her feel comfortable in both the Deaf and hearing worlds - and she reminds us that parents should never stop communicating with their children
-
Mark –
he is
a school counselor, who tells us what it was like to grow up with a progressive hearing loss
-
Michelle–
she tells us how she came to think of herself as hard-of-hearing, reminding us to be open to how people want to identify themselves
-
Pamela–
she wrote this essay for her college application when she was a senior at a mainstream high school
Mavis*
*The stories from Mavis were originally contributed to a team that developed a website for families focused on "raising deaf kids" (See About Us). Minor edits may have been made.
Mavis is a college student. She uses sign to communicate with hearing friends.
On these pages she shares her thoughts about growing up as a young deaf woman.
April 16, 2003
This wise old mom of mine...I am happy about what she did for me during my childhood years (in the 1980's). As a teenager in the 1990's, I used to hate my mom for not forcing me to learn how to speak with my voice. And I would weep myself to sleep once or twice per week because of that.
Now, as a young adult, I am no longer upset, frustrated, or mad about being unable to communicate by voice. I often socialize with non-signers by paper and pen as if they were my deaf peers. Sometimes I communicated by miming. I often felt like I am a free bird...esteeming myself to anyone by paper and pen as well as if I am signing (or speaking).
True, it's hard sometimes, but it's not that hard when I am around people who don't think much of the slowness and labor in writing back to me. It may be because most of the people I hung around were advance educated ones (and I do prefer to be around those types of people anyway). On the other hand, it may be because I am in the adult world nearly all the time for the last four years.
The parents of the today's young children who are deaf or hard of hearing were concerned that their children will get mad at them for either not learning how to speak or not learning how to sign later in life. This did happen both ways (as my peers who are DHH told me over the years). I remember my mom telling those parents "It's a typical teenage phase. I kept on telling myself that it will be over in a few years." I think she was right. After all, she did raise three teens--the oldest and deaf one and two younger hearing ones.
I shall stop here for now.
Mavis - Going to School
October 7, 2003
I am known as the energetic and curious Mavis, who was born profoundly deaf. I am currently a traditional college student planning to graduate in May 2004 with a double major degree: Biology-BA and Biomedical Physics-BA. Also, I am taking extracurricular math classes…enough to be minoring in math, but I didn't bother to make it official. I am planning to get a doctorate from a Biomedical Engineering graduate program or something close to it. I want to be "playing" all my life in a career I love, and I feel that where I am heading is the right direction.
Going to a mainstream high school
I attended a state school for the deaf for 16 of my first 18 years. But I did mainstream part-time at a local high school two miles away from my deaf school throughout high school. By graduation, I had completed 2/3 of all my high school courses at the mainstream school-and I was glad I did. The local high school was the only one in a town of 3,000 people and about 10,000 cows/cattle or so. Thus, this local high school was not like the academic high schools in bigger cities. However, I got plenty of challenge at that local high school, which I credit for my success at a mainstreaming state college in a city of 17 million.
College was tough at first...
When I first entered my college, I was grateful for what I experience back in 9th grade, the time when I took my first and only class at the local mainstreaming high school. The first college semester was another awakening for me. For 9 straight weeks out of 15, all I could remember was riding my bicycle full speed back and forth between classes and my dorm.
At my dorm, all I could remember was that I was studying. I did lie down, but I studied lightly when I did so. None of this studying was "overdoing"; I barely memorized the materials for my exams. I had expected college to be harder, but not like THIS!
Without my experience at a local high school providing all kinds of challenges I honestly didn't find at my deaf school; I probably won't have passed some of my classes with a C or above that first college semester. Worse, I probably would have been discouraged due to the college blow being unexpected.
... but with extra work I'm proving myself
Today, I am in the top 10% of my class and still improving. Also, I am now doing more than just learning the material for some classes. I put a lot of energy into going the extra mile to acquire in-depth understanding of subjects that I enjoy.
Mavis - Getting Help in High School and College
October 7, 2003
Using interpreters in high school
The reason why I stayed at my deaf school throughout high school was because my school had four interpreters, all good ones. (We had no real-time captioners.) Some other students who were deaf or hard of hearing (DHH) at my school attended my school just because they couldn't find interpreters for their hometown mainstream schools. Having a good interpreter for a full time mainstreaming of a student who was DHH was problematic in my region!
Getting help in college
As for college, I am currently attending a mainstream one with a big support program for students who are DHH. The program has a network of interpreters, notetakers, and real-time captioners (some of the service providers are college students themselves).
Unlike most of my deaf peers, I sometimes used to want to go without any service provider in my chemistry, math, and physics courses. It depended on the professor's teaching style. I used to dislike having interpreters in these types of classes because I would often look down and work things out on my own-sort of like critical thinking.
Another problem was that I sometimes had interpreters who didn't have enough background knowledge and they just confused me. Well, I later found myself needing service providers for my upper division chemistry, math, and physics classes.
Fortunately, I am able to request a specific interpreter, who also tutors math and is very good at holding the important information when I look down at my notes and the textbook. I don't always get him, but often enough to keep me happy. I rarely use a notetaker in those three types of classes because I am able to write my own notes pretty well...as long as the interpreter was able to "hold" the important stuff I could otherwise miss when looking down.
Using real-time captioning
For my biology courses, I love to use the real-time captioners because I then can directly learn and read the biology vocabulary in the lectures. Also, I can look down and whatever I miss will still be on the screen for me to catch up on. I could use an interpreter, but the biology lectures have more words per minute and it would be painful if I was looking away. Also, if I used an interpreter, I would need to plant the biology vocabulary into my head on my own time in order to pass the exams.
Since the Biology courses have more words per minute, I also use a volunteer notetaker from within the class because they are usually the ones with biology background.
I also write my own notes, but they are often very messy due to the speed of the class.
Working with volunteer notetakers
When picking a volunteer notetaker at the beginning of the semester, I often don't know who may write more than what is on the board. Furthermore, I want notes that are as good as the ones I can take in my chemistry, math, and physics classes. Also, I know I need a good back up notetaker in case the one I pick happens to not show up once in a while (the service provider office would pay $50 to only one volunteer notetaker per class). So, what I do is to inform the professor, then walk up to the front and ask for candidates. Usually between 2 to 5 students come forward. I will try out all the candidates for a couple of days then pick the primary and the backup. For the backup one, I usually give him/her a gift at the end of the semester — not $50, but something. It depends on how often I have to use the back up one.
For the general education courses, I use any interpreter and also request a notetaker from the service provider program. I sometimes write my own notes, sometimes I don't. These general education courses are normally easy and not of importance to me.
I would rather save my energy for the courses I enjoy taking!
Mavis - Communicating With Hearing People
October 7, 2003
Mom always pushed me to speak up for myself - any way I could
I am the oldest of the three offspring in an entirely hearing family. Everybody in my family signs. Also, two of my relatives (both lived far away) did learn how to sign a bit. But my family never considered themselves as my interpreters, especially because my mom refused to let anyone to be in that role…no matter where we went.
My mom took pains to make me write down what I wanted at a fast-food restaurant at a very early age-maybe 4 or 5 years old. Her system was to fingerspell the letters one by one as I wrote them down on a piece of a paper. She then sent me alone to the ordering counter to hand the paper to the cashier. This became a routine thing for me, and when I was able to spell just enough to get my words across, I did it without any complaints or question. I may have written poorly, with lots of misspelled words and poor grammar, but I could at least communicate on my own as a kid. When I didn't have anything to write with, I used mime-skillfully. These ways of communicating with non-signers are still my primary ones.
One of my brothers, Kyle, used to feel a sense of responsibility for helping me communicate, even though he was three and half years younger than I. One day when I was 7, I was trying to tell some neighborhood teenage boys to stop killing ants.
Kyle looked out from the living room window and said to mom, "I should go out there and interpret…" My mom stopped Kyle and told him, "Wait…let's watch." And there I was, showing them my sign already posted with "NOT KILL" and a picture of an ant.
I then tried to kick them. Then I screamed at them. Seeing them still stomping the ants to death, I took off my shoes and threw the shoes at them. "Hmm," my mom told Kyle,
"I don't think she needs any help."
During my teenage years, my mom used to take me out shopping with her. Because she didn't want to be the interpreter, she would pretend she was deaf too, so everybody had to write things down for both of us.
Mavis - Living in the Hearing and Deaf Worlds
October 7, 2003
I like being with hearing people...
I like hearing people. Sometimes I love hearing people. Other deaf people sometimes will ask me if I am cutting myself from the deaf community. "No," I tell them, "only that the kind of things I like to do happen to be readily available in the hearing world."
It is true. Every weekend, I ride my high-quality road racing bicycle at high speeds (sometimes as fast as 40 mph on the flats) with a bunch of men from my bicycle club. I am the only deaf person in that 500-member club. I also enjoy going to the shooting range to fire handguns and socialize. I never heard of any other deaf person who regularly goes to the shooting range.
I could be going to the deaf night outs. I could be joining my college's deaf organizations. I could be going to the deaf dance events. But, I have no interest. To be honest, I found the deaf events downright boring. I only go if I have nothing better to do. Since I am always happily busy, I seldom go.
...but deaf people are my people, too
I, however, still need deaf people for social reasons. They are my people, and I just need to be with them from time to time. As a college student in the city of 17 million, it is not hard to get out and hang out with deaf people whenever I have the desire.
But I knew the meaning of having at least a few deaf people in my life back in my high school days – especially when I was mainstreaming most of the time.
My entire hearing family could sign fluently. But they were not enough. During the summer vacations, I would get so painfully lonely after about 3 to 4 weeks that I would drive all the way to my "deaf sister's" house. My "deaf sister" was 1 of the 2 known deaf teenagers within 50 miles from my home – her entire family was also deaf. This "deaf sister" of mine was completely the opposite of me. But we knew each other ever since we were in diapers.
Here is an illustration of a typical visit: I would be sitting on the sofa (not my thing) with my "deaf sister" quietly watching junk on TV (not my thing) with her. From time to time, I would try to start a chat by saying something such as "What will happen if I put ink on my tongue?"
"Should we do it?" I asked. "Not me, you do it."
"No, I have work tomorrow and I should not be a mess. Come on, you couch potato..."
"I won't do it!" my "deaf sister" groaned at me as if I were a weirdo.
We then quieted down until I could think of something else to say. It was a dull afternoon of just sitting and watching TV with my "deaf sister". I felt like every hour was about 2 hours of time wasted doing nothing. But I couldn't force myself to leave. I would just stay and stay until I finally crawled out to my car as late as 3 o'clock in the morning.
I imagine that even if all hearing people on this earth could sign fluently, I would have an inner desire to be with people like myself from time to time...no matter who the deaf ones are. They are my people. And they will always be.
Demetra*
*The story below was originally contributed to a team that developed a website for families focused on "raising deaf kids" (See About Us). Minor edits may have been made.
Demetra is a college student. Here she shares her thoughts about being deaf and living a full life.
October 19, 2002
Living Life as Person who is Hard of Hearing and relies on spoken language in a hearing community
I would like to introduce myself. My name is Demetra and I am a student at Drexel University.
I have been raised as an oral person and I consider myself as being hard of hearing rather than deaf. Even though I am profoundly deaf, the hearing aids help me to hear more and therefore I prefer to be considered in this way, as a hard of hearing person.
I come from Greece and my native tongue language is Greek. I moved to America, in Washington D.C. with my family 8 years ago, when my struggles and difficulties with life began with learning English as a second language. I fought for a better life and the right to a good education, during the middle school and high school years. I strongly believe that the experiences that I have gone through helped me and to build my self-confidence and self-respect.
I choose this kind of life as an oral person and in a hearing community because in the real world everywhere you go and everywhere you see you are always exposed and influenced from the hearing community. I always felt that being successful is the biggest reward and accomplishment. In other words, I want to be successful and make a career. That requires me to be involved in the real world and explore many different places to gain from experience values and ideals.
Wanting to Help Others - and Finding Just the Right Place to Volunteer
Since I love to get as many volunteers as I can to help people’s lives, I was walking by the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, which is a few blocks away from the Drexel University campus. I immediately knew that it would be the perfect place for me to start to volunteer during my free time. I thought that if this is really a Children’s Hospital, then perhaps I could get involved with deaf patients and to help them communicate either in American Sign Language or Cued Speech. This idea motivated me.
So, the following day I went into the building. Unfortunately, I wasn’t familiar with the building, and I had to explain what I was looking for to the front desk. I was immediately informed that I was in the wrong place, and it was suggested to try the building across the street. At first I was puzzled, but I decided to go along with this suggestion. When I went into the other building there was another the front desk, where I had to explain the purpose of my visit all over again because I wasn’t sure which floor I should go to. Of course, there was another miscommunication with the person at the front desk because he was assuming, perhaps, that I wanted to do the Human Resources Department, while I was thinking of the children. Finally, he recommended me to go to 9th floor.
As soon as I went up to the 9th floor I saw how the communication didn’t go well and I saw a sign that read Human Resources. I was extremely disappointed and frustrated because the front desk person wasn’t really listening to me and what I was looking for. As I was turning around ready to leave, I saw a sign. I stopped immediately and I was very pleasantly surprised. The sign was for the Deafness and Family Communication Center.
This is what I was looking for and after introducing myself to those people such as Lisa Bain as a Research Project Manager and Olivia Thetgyi as a Web Editorial Assistant. I was informed that I could volunteer and that I could write a journal about the life of a student, and the problems and difficulties that I face, so that other people can possibly benefit from my experiences!
Denise*
*The story below was originally contributed to a team that developed a website for families focused on "raising deaf kids" (See About Us). Minor edits may have been made.
The Pleasure of Living in a Quiet World - But Still Communicating with Others
I was born deaf so I do not hear noise, many sounds, or talking. I do not know what it's like to be hearing, but I know what it's like to be deaf. It is nice to live in a quiet world. When I use my hearing aids, the noise bothers my ears. The cafeteria is the loudest place at school. Sometimes I turn off my hearing aids. I am lucky that I can stop the noise!
Deaf kids can do many things but sometimes we must work harder like when we learn to talk and read lips. To help myself, I go to the speech room to learn how to talk. Mrs. Johnson teaches me how to make sounds the right way. I practice a lot so I can talk to people with my voice and understand people who don't know sign language.
Many deaf people use sign language to communicate to each other and to hearing people who know sign language too. Sign language is as easy for me to talk to my family as speech is for hearing people. My dad and my brother need to learn more sign language, but they try their best. Some deaf kids live with families who do not know sign language. I think it is fun to be deaf when other people communicate with me.
*The story below was originally contributed to a team that developed a website for families focused on "raising deaf kids" (See About Us). Minor edits may have been made.
Irene Tunanidas, M. Ed., M.S. is a teacher of the deaf who writes her own newsletter, the Greek Deaf Communicator. She tells us about the challenges she overcame to become a teacher of the deaf.
Growing up with Two Languages
My hearing loss was diagnosed at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota in 1951 when I was 3 1/2 years old. I became deaf from a double dose of antibiotics.
Learning the English language was a tedious task because I spoke Greek, my mother tongue, during the first 2 years of my life. My father, a native of Mytilini, Greece, and my American born mother, daughter of Greek immigrants, had no knowledge on Deaf resources at that time. They taught me to speak and write in English. Dad built a large blackboard for our daily lessons in reading, language and mathematics. The blackboard was in use for 20 years until I graduated from Gallaudet University.
Going to School
My early education began in the preschool program at the Youngstown Hearing and Speech Center, Youngstown, Ohio. I participated in the Oral Program for Children who are Deaf or Hard of Hearing at Adams School in Youngstown. In 1966, I graduated with honors from Woodrow Wilson High School, Youngstown, Ohio.
In high school, I took part in various activities such as: Latin Club, National Honor Society, and the Teen Tymers Club. I volunteered in the school library and at the American Red Cross for 5 years until graduation. My adolescent life was like a roller coaster. I suffered from identity crisis, but I managed to survive in the regular program without the benefit of a notetaker or interpreter. My parents and preschool teacher were my supporters. Their faith in my abilities kept me going.
Going to Gallaudet - and Seeing Sign Language for the First Time
I had the option of enrolling in a hearing college, but I chose to attend Gallaudet University, the world's only liberal arts college for the deaf. Why? I was curious to see what Sign Language was like. Oh boy! I never saw so many hands fluttering in many places, and I was completely lost! It took me about 2 years to master my signing skills.
College life was a rewarding experience for me because I learned that I was not the only one with an identity problem. After I received my Bachelor of Arts Degree in Art from Gallaudet University in 1970, I returned home in anticipation of a teaching position in the Deaf Program at a local public school. Public school officials were not willing to hire educators with disabilities. More rejections followed and I decided that the only way to prove my abilities was to volunteer in the Deaf Program at any Ohio school district.
The Challenges of Looking for a Job
One week before the start of a new school year in 1970, I walked into the special education supervisor's office in another school district and inquired about a volunteer position. He asked if I would be interested in a part time teaching position at the two high schools in Warren, Ohio. It took me 4 days to give my reply because I did not feel I was ready for a teaching assignment at the high school. I tutored three Deaf students in English, Civics and Government at Warren Harding High School and Western Reserve High School during the 1970-71 school year. This was my first teaching position with a valid temporary teaching certificate!
Overcoming Obstacles to Get a Master's Degree
I took Graduate Studies in Deaf Education at Kent State University in the summer of 1971. More obstacles followed. One prominent professor in the Audiology/Speech Department tried to scare me by saying that the college had a policy against admitting disabled students. He advised me to audit his speechreading class because he was not optimistic about my speechreading skills. (The professor was unaware that I had 8 years of speech/lip reading training!) I asked my advisor from the Deaf Education department for a copy of the university policy concerning admitting disabled students. She looked me in the eye and asked if I would stay in speechreading class. I took her word, and a friend of mine, a speech therapist from Shaker Heights, Ohio, advised me "to show my guts" by participating actively in speechreading class. The speechreading professor reluctantly accepted me in class. My parents filed a formal complaint with the National Association of the Deaf. We were advised that the NAD would file a lawsuit on my behalf if the Audiology Department at Kent State had gone to another level.
However...we did not pursue with a lawsuit because I passed the course with flying colors. Finally, in August of 1972, I graduated with a Master's Degree in Deaf Education.
My First Full-Time Job!
I applied to five Ohio school districts for a full-time teaching position in the Deaf Program, only to get letters of rejection. This did not dim my hopes of getting a full-time teaching position in the Deaf Program. I completed my student teaching at an elementary school in Kent, Ohio and at Stambaugh Elementary School in Youngstown. I decided to try applying for a teaching position with the Youngstown Schools. I was rejected, but my former preschool teacher intervened by speaking to the school board about giving me a chance to teach in the Deaf Program for a year. I was hired on a limited contract, and I was overwhelmed with happiness. My first teaching position was at Stambaugh Elementary School in Youngstown, Ohio. Sixteen Deaf students were in my care; I taught Art, English, Social Studies in the primary and intermediate level. My competency skills were often questioned by my former colleagues and skeptical parents. I kept going with daily prayers and support from my family.
In 1983, I took a sabbatical leave for two years to pursue another graduate degree in counseling at California State University, Sacramento. For the first time in my life, I had ASL interpreters in every counseling class. The college experience made me a better person. I learned to appreciate life more, and I slowly became a better listener.
Doing What I Love
After earning my second Master's in 1985, I returned to Youngstown to accept a teaching position in the Deaf Program at Woodrow Wilson High School, my alma mater. I suffered a personal setback when the Deaf Program phased out in 1999. I was transferred to the Regular Program where I taught American Sign Language to the hearing students in three district high schools. I enjoyed a new challenge with the hearing students but commuting to three high schools each day was very difficult for me.
In January of 2003, I was offered a part time teaching position at Youngstown State University where I teach ASL and Deaf Studies in the Teacher Training Department at the College of Education.
After 31 years with the Ohio Public Schools, I retired in June of 2003. I was looking forward to retirement until a phone call last August. The Special Education Director of Poland Local Schools offered me a part time teaching position at McKinley Elementary School during the 2003-04 school year. I am teaching a Deaf fifth grader Language, Reading and Writing and I also tutor him in other subjects he is mainstreamed for. At last, I am back to my first love, teaching the Deaf. I feel rejuvenated; my current assignment with a Deaf fifth grader brought back fond memories of my first tutoring assignment at the 2 high schools in 1970.
Karen*
*The story below was originally contributed to a team that developed a website for families focused on "raising deaf kids" (See About Us). Minor edits may have been made.
Karen Putz writes about being from a family where many members are deaf or hard of hearing.
I come from a family that has seen 5 generations of hearing loss. My grandmother was deaf as well as my great-grandfather. My mother and all of her siblings had varying levels of hearing loss.
My mom was 27 when she began to lose her hearing. She was profoundly deaf by the time I was born, but she managed to adjust to life using a hearing aid. She depended on lipreading for communication and turned over the phone to my hearing father.
One by one, my siblings lost their hearing in a variety of ways. My oldest sister was merely 3 when she fell off a counter and hit her head on a baseboard. She became profoundly deaf that day. Next in line was my brother Dennis. He was at work one day when a beam fell on him, and he woke up in the hospital with a severe hearing loss at the age of 36. My other sister, Jeanie, lost her hearing the same way my mother did. My other brother, Kenny, began to use hearing aids at the age of 46.
As far as we can figure, I was born hearing, and was diagnosed with a moderate hearing loss at the age of four. I received my first hearing aid in 4th grade. I rarely wore it, taking it off first thing when I arrived home from school. The summer before my sophomore year in college, I took a hard fall while barefooting (waterskiing on bare feet) and felt like I had water in my ear for days. I went away to college, and my hearing never came back. Tests in college showed a profound loss, and I learned to wear the hearing aid every waking moment. In a nice turn of events, I stayed on a coed floor with many other deaf and hard-of-hearing students and found a home in the deaf community. It was here that I met my husband and took a job in the deaf field.
Our 3 children were born hearing and appeared to lose their hearing shortly after an illness. My oldest son was very sick at 9 months of age and was diagnosed with a moderate to profound hearing loss at the age of two. My daughter (4) and son (2) were sick at the same time, and both diagnosed with hearing loss within a short time after that. All 3 wear digital hearing aids and FM systems at school. The boys both have interpreters and all 3 have itinerant teachers that visit once a week. We try to give them the best of both worlds (i.e., deaf and hearing worlds), with a wealth of activities and friends in both.
Kat – Communication is the Key*
*The story below was originally contributed to a team that developed a website for families focused on "raising deaf kids" (See About Us). Minor edits may have been made.
Kat Aiple works for the U.S. government. She tells us how her hearing family helped her feel comfortable in both the Deaf and hearing worlds. And she reminds us that parents should never stop communicating with their children.
Being an "Army Brat" - and Moving Around a Lot
I am profoundly deaf, raised by my hearing parents and two hearing brothers who learned sign language right away at Gallaudet College (today called University) when they learned I was deaf at 9 months old.
My dad was and mom is in federal government for years (dad retired after 36 years in U.S. Army), and dad just retired from state government after 15 years. Mom is a registered nurse in federal government's VA hospital.
Now you can see where the influence came from inspiring me to work in federal government with job security and great benefits.
I grew up going to deaf state schools in numerous states as you see dad was in U.S. Army, so we moved a lot. The rich experience is big. I had to change sign language to blend in other state school's kids in each state I moved to. It was interesting, but frustrating at the same time.
Having a Loving Family
I want to tell you reason the subject I choose is "communication is the key in the family." It is because at beginning you saw that my parents and my two brothers learned sign language before I even started to learn! They were very eager to talk to me and have me be equal in the family.
My parents and my brothers even interpreted what special shows on TV was all about. Sometimes, one of members in the family would sit in front of TV to interpret all the way with Christmas shows. There was no closed captioning at that time!
Finding Deaf Friends
My family members have even made efforts to find churches with good deaf services and Sunday school with deaf children going to; they made out of the way trips to go to that church and be members of the church for me so I could socialize with other deaf kids in Sunday school! They even participated in National Association of the Deaf events and family weeks at conferences in most eastern states. For years, my brothers continued to be friends with deaf classmates and schoolmates to continue the communication in sign language for years. So, I was raised with wonderful communication in family and support causing me to accomplish to communicate good with hearing people and get caught up with the hearing world's communication level.
Being Part of the Hearing World
Also, I have been a champion swimmer for near 15 years of my childhood and socialized often with hearing swimmers who were eager to learn sign language while I learned to lip read with the swimmers WITHOUT taking lip-read lessons. My parents did not teach me that. I was self-taught.
That was also an advantage in hearing world when I catch lip-reading and many would get surprised that I knew lip-reading…including the sign language interpreters who changed sentences in communication with the hearing people what I said and I would catch them on the spot and correct them that it is not what I said.
Communication is Key
So, communication in the family is the key. Parents cannot expect kids to learn communication system or English skills in school! Home is important too!
We do not want deaf children to use layman's language forever! They need to get jobs in hearing world as hearing group is the majority on the Earth. Remind yourself, parents, to take sign language classes and communicate with your children. Encourage siblings to talk to their own siblings. That is important.
Where I Am Today
I am currently working in the federal government as a secretary to all of the Auditors at Defense Contract Audit Agency for 2 years. I have been with other agencies all together 6 years in federal government. I was very fortunate to work in federal government as it is important to start your work resume at an early age! I have been getting temporary jobs in any government during summers off from high school years. That is important to get start-off with good resume before graduate from high school.
Also, I am with University of Phoenix On-line majoring in BS degree with Business/Management. I love every minute of it! It is very tough, but at your own pace.
Mark*
*The story below was originally contributed to a team that developed a website for families focused on "raising deaf kids" (See About Us). Minor edits may have been made.
Mark is a school counselor at the Pennsylvania School for the Deaf. He tells us what it was like to grow up with a progressive hearing loss.
Question 1: When was it that you first realized that your hearing was getting worse?
Mark: I'm guessing this was around age 5 or 6. At first I noticed people around me reacting a bit differently - teachers and classmates looking at me funny or seeming a bit frustrated with me for reasons I couldn't comprehend.
Question 2: Did you tell anyone, like your mother or a teacher?
Mark: Nope, I didn't think of bringing it up at home. It didn't become an issue at home until my grandfather, obviously in response to a phone call from my teacher, gave me the old "can you understand me?" test. First he said something to my face, which I understood. Then he covered his mouth with his hand and said something else - which I could not understand. That's when he realized I was dependent on reading lips due to a hearing loss. Next thing I knew, I was visiting an audiologist.
Question 3: Do you remember how you felt when you realized this?
Mark: Confused, maybe even horrified - at his reaction, not mine. Other relatives and teachers were also noticeably alarmed or overly concerned. That's when I realized, "Uh- oh, something's wrong with me. The way people are reacting to it, it must be really bad." I was ashamed of what was happening to me.
Question 4: What did you do so you could still get along in a regular classroom?
Mark: Fake it! Remember, deafness in my eyes was something bad. Therefore, I tried to look anything but deaf. Nodding along with what others were saying, smiling when others smiled, making superficial conversation…I was trying my best to create the illusion that I could hear. Academically, I would just bug someone to clarify what the homework was and do my best to catch up. Individual attention from a teacher's aide also helped immensely. But in a nutshell, I was pretty much living a lie.
Question 5: Now that you look back on it, what do you think would have been a better way to help you cope with your hearing loss?
Mark: I wish I had a better understanding that deafness is not something horrible, just something different. Something that simply requires a different approach, say, like the use of ASL and sign language interpreters. It wasn't until the tenth grade when I fully understood this. I learned how to go with my strengths instead of trying to cover up or fix my weaknesses.
Question 6: What would you say to a child who is starting to lose his hearing?
Mark: I'm not exactly sure what I would say - but I would be mindful of how I would react. I would be reassuring in such a manner as if to imply, "It's okay, so you're deaf (or hard of hearing). You may have to do things a bit differently, but you're going to be all right." From there I would answer any questions as tactfully as possible. I would also go about showing the child that he/she is not alone, through introducing him/her to role models (especially peers!). I'd probably get some of those wonderful children's books that so beautifully address the issue of deafness.
Michelle*
*The story below was originally contributed to a team that developed a website for families focused on "raising deaf kids" (See About Us). Minor edits may have been made.
November 9,
2003
Michelle is the school psychologist at the Pennsylvania School for the Deaf. She tells us how she came to think of herself as hard-of-hearing. And she reminds us that all people - both hearing and Deaf - should be open to how others want to identify themselves.
Living between the hearing and Deaf worlds
When I walked on the Gallaudet campus (University in Washington, DC) 7 years ago, I had very little sign language skills and hadn't met a Deaf adult. As I became more competent in my signing, I was able to communicate with various people on the campus. I found at Gallaudet a place where people were like me - they grew up feeling isolated within their own homes, they struggled at school, they had a hard time making friends, they were made fun of because they didn't understand questions or they talked funny, they were pitied or they were admired, simply because they couldn't hear.
For the most part, the people I met identified themselves as Deaf and I was puzzled, because some of these people had more hearing than me. Yet, when they explained that it was more of a cultural identity, relating to the language and the history, I got it. I found it comforting to be surrounded by those who shared similar life experiences to me.
Finding my identity
Regardless, it was then when I began to question my own identity. Was I hard-of-hearing? Was I deaf? I asked several Deaf people. They told me I was Deaf because I had a hearing loss - end of story. Okay, that solved that problem, so I tried the "voice-off" thing all the time. Small problem though, my signing was really lousy (the Deaf couldn't understand me) and my husband couldn't sign (he couldn't understand me)... and I could hear some things in the environment, was I supposed to ignore the sounds I heard in order to appear deaf????? sighhhhhhh... this was going to be more complicated than I thought...
Then I needed to go back to where I came from... I grew up in a hearing family...
no one signed... I got by with reading lips... my hearing loss wasn't identified until I was in kindergarten (labeled hyperactive and having learning difficulties up until that point though)... born before the enactment of public law 94-142 (also known as the Education of All Handicapped Children's Act) school didn't know what to do with me, so they said "oh, she'll be fine here". I wasn't. I understood nothing, knew nothing, and did everything I needed to do to get by (copy, cheat, whatever)... Meanwhile, I had few friends, and was called stupid or retarded because of my speech on a daily basis... there was no counselor at the school to support me, so I was left to figure it all out on my own...that was pretty much the case until I got to Gallaudet and realized that I was able to learn, I just needed some sign language support.
So, back to the original question, hard-of-hearing or deaf? I don't believe many people would argue that at the age of 30, when you are from a hearing family, have a hearing husband, have hearing children, hearing friends and are new to the concept of sign language that it would be easy to adapt into the Deaf culture. Yes, I am audiologically deaf but not culturally deaf, I grew up in a hearing culture, and there's not much I can do to change that now. By not accepting this fact would mean that I would need to abandon my family, my friends, my husband and my children, and that is not going to happen anytime soon.
Being hard-of-hearing
Simply put, I am hard-of-hearing. I am lucky enough to be able to speak on the phone, talk with my children and carry on a conversation (sometimes) with one person through lip reading. I cannot go to the theater without an interpreter, I cannot watch TV or a movie without captioning (thank goodness for modern technology) and I cannot participate in a conversation with a large number of people.
I know I am one of a few people who identify themselves as hard-of-hearing (I King Jordan [former President of Gallaudet University] was the first person I met who identified himself as hard-of-hearing, as well as my audiologist at Gallaudet!!)... It can be frustrating at times since there are so few of us. And it seems like every day I need to be reminded that I don't really fit in either the Deaf or the hearing world. When I meet a deaf person and I say that I am hard-of hearing, they respond, "Oh, really? You look hearing". When I am around hearing people in public, as soon as I speak, heads turn and people talk very slowly to me or perhaps they even give fingerspelling a shot in order to "help" me!! sigh...
Nonetheless, as tough as some of those experiences were for me growing up, in retrospect it prepared me for what I do today with the children here at PSD. Walking that fine line between the Deaf and hearing world allows for me to support each child and their families with various perspectives and an open mind.
Pamela*
*The story below was originally contributed to a team that developed a website for families focused on "raising deaf kids" (See About Us). Minor edits may have been made.
Pamela is a senior at a mainstream high school. She wrote this essay for her college application.
February 11, 2003
Triumphing Over the Struggle
My mother cried tears of grief when I was a baby because she found out I was deaf.
I know in my heart that my mother will cry again at my high school graduation, but this time, the tears will be tears of joy. Our triumph over the struggle to accept my deafness and my willingness to overcome my disability is what changed the nature of my mother's tears. My father passed away when I was eleven, but I still feel lasting imprints of his faith in me. He believed I was his sunshine and could shine at anything I set my mind to.
To be born with a severe to profound hearing loss will naturally change the course of one's life. Language development is severely inhibited for a deaf child because the child lacks the ability to discriminate between sounds and therefore understanding speech is at least difficult, at worst impossible. As a young child, my reading level was behind and my speech was unclear. English was not my mother's native language so it was difficult for her to speak and write it. I was never able to have a real conversation with my mother until I was nine. My mother was also busy raising my little sister who was born deaf.
At a young age, I used to harbor bitter resentment toward my mother for trying to make me hearing; I felt like I was not good enough for her. The communication barriers were overwhelmingly imposing. I remember avoiding my mother for days just so I didn't have to talk to her. I felt stupid when I couldn't understand her or get her to understand me.
She was burdened with the fear that she would fail as a mother if she could not raise her deaf daughter to be able to succeed in life.
There are many who believe deaf people are dumb, and I wanted to prove them wrong. I was terrified of hearing people for fear that they would reject me for being deaf.
However, my desire to gain respect from hearing people helped me to overcome my fear of approaching them. When I was mainstreamed at high school, I surprised many hearing peers by taking honors courses with them. Finally, I was able to stand up and show everyone that even a deaf person can succeed in class with hearing students. This motivation carried me into my senior year where I have now accomplished far more than I ever anticipated.
Having a Mom Who Has High Expectations
I know parents who gave up on their child because they pitied their child's disability. My mother is not one of them. She has held high expectations for me and does not let me falter. She inspires me to always try to be the best possible person I can be. I only hope I inspire her to continue to be the mother she is and to be proud for what a miraculous job she has done with me.