Parent
Talk Getting Extended
Family Members Involved
Many
of the same issues and concerns arise when talking about
raising a child who is deaf and raising one who has a milder
degree of hearing loss. However, because some children have
residual hearing and benefit from the use of amplification
devices, their communication and educational needs are different
from those who are deaf. Often these children are able to
communicate through spoken language.
Hard of hearing children face their own set of challenges,
as do their parents. To address these individual concerns
of parents with deaf of hard of hearing children, the answer
portion of the following section has been separated into
two categories: 1) For parents of a hard of hearing children,
and 2) For parents of deaf children.
Question:
What
techniques do you use to get extended family members (grandparents,
aunts and uncles, cousins, etc.) to interact with and communicate
with your deaf or hard of hearing child? What works and
what doesn't work?
Answers
(for parents of hard of hearing children):
~"Our extended family, friends
and neighbors have learned to be sure Matt is looking
at them…not turning their back when speaking, and
sometimes restating for understanding, especially when
Matt was younger. When we are swimming and the 'gang'
is doing some kind of water play, friends sometimes need
to be reminded that no matter how loud they yell, Matt
doesn't know what they are saying unless he can look at
them and read their lips."
~
"I discussed with them his hearing loss and how to
better communicate with him. For example, do not yell
across a noisy room and expect my child to respond. You
must go to him and communicate face to face. Hard of hearing
and deaf children learn visually. They need to see your
face. Do not get upset if he does not respond, because
you need to check in with him and see if he understands,
and allow him to communicate back to you. This also builds
his vocabulary. I think education is the key, but don't
overwhelm them with the small details. Tell them what
your child needs from them."
~
"We encouraged them to talk to our child, not through
us. We tried to insist that she answers questions and
we worked hard not to answer them for her. We included
her in all conversations."
~
"We shared a lot with our extended family. We openly
talked about difficulties and frustrations he experienced
with communication. When people did not look at him when
they spoke, we reminded them that he needed them to do
that. WE tried to model effective communication techniques
with our family members."
Answers
(for parents of deaf children):
~
"I decided early on that I would not force anyone
in my family to learn to sign, but encouraged them as
much as possible. It has been interesting to see who has
taken an interest over the years. My parents were wonderful.
They hired a sign tutor to come to their home every week
for several months to teach them, along with some of our
other relatives and neighbors. Interestingly, those who
have had the most contact with my child over the years,
and have had the most opportunities to learn to communicate
with her have not done so. In the end, they are the ones
who are missing out. It is hard, but you have to accept
that not everyone is going to take the time, and instead
of wasting time being angry about it, it is much more
productive to encourage and teach those who show the most
interest, particularly the children in the family, since
they are like sponges and are often very eager to learn
new ways to communicate."
~
"Actually I have found this to be very difficult,
frustrating, and at times hurtful. I explained the situation
to all my friends and family. I felt that it was unfair
to put pressure on them to learn sign, but certainly told
them how important it was to me and to my daughter. I
made time to teach sign language on a regular basis and
shared what I was learning as I was learning it. Many
of my family and friends were great and were dedicated
to learning and have done well, and I am so grateful for
them."
~
"My parents took sign classes from a friend of theirs
in another state, and have been very excited to share
with my child what they have learned. One thing that was
hard for my sister was that she wanted my deaf child to
stay the summer with her and I said I did not think it
would be fair to my child to go some place where they
wouldn't be able to communicate with her. That gave some
of my family members incentive to want to be a part of
my child's life."
~
"Going to family sign class was a good experience
for my family. It made everyone feel more understanding
and less threatened being around our daughter."
~
"We gave them sign books and videotapes. We also
found it helped to let them take care of our child for
short periods of time by themselves."
~
"With us this is a simple matter. We tell relatives,
visitors, friends, everyone, that he cannot understand
their words, only signing, and then we either translate
for them or teach them how to sign what they are trying
to say. It takes extra time, but it results in our son
knowing that they care enough to learn to communicate
with him. That says a lot."
~
"Hannah just signs with them as if they know how
to sign. I encourage them to go to sign classes and I
interpret for them. Sometimes I don't interpret so family
understands that they need to get more involved."
Many
of the same issues and concerns arise when talking about
raising a child who is deaf and raising one who has a milder
degree of hearing loss. However, because some children have
residual hearing and benefit from the use of amplification
devices, their communication and educational needs are different
from those who are deaf. Often these children are able to
communicate through spoken language. 
~
~
"I decided early on that I would not force anyone
in my family to learn to sign, but encouraged them as
much as possible. It has been interesting to see who has
taken an interest over the years. My parents were wonderful.
They hired a sign tutor to come to their home every week
for several months to teach them, along with some of our
other relatives and neighbors. Interestingly, those who
have had the most contact with my child over the years,
and have had the most opportunities to learn to communicate
with her have not done so. In the end, they are the ones
who are missing out. It is hard, but you have to accept
that not everyone is going to take the time, and instead
of wasting time being angry about it, it is much more
productive to encourage and teach those who show the most
interest, particularly the children in the family, since
they are like sponges and are often very eager to learn
new ways to communicate."
~
"Going to family sign class was a good experience
for my family. It made everyone feel more understanding
and less threatened being around our daughter."
