At times, parents are confronted with opposition when having to make a difficult decision for their child. There are always those who will disagree with the mode of communication we select, the educational placement we choose, or whether or not our child should wear hearing aids or get a cochlear implant. Often those who disagree with us can be very intimidating. In addition, there are those who will even question our right to make these decisions for our children.

One very important thing to remember is as parents, it is our right and responsibility to make decisions for our children until they are old enough to make them on their own, regardless of whether or not they have a hearing loss. We make decisions every day for our children. And, even though we may not always know for certain that a decision we are making for our deaf or hard of hearing child is the right one at the time, it is our job to do what we think is best for our child, based on the information available to us. Knowing how other parents have dealt with opposition can be very helpful.

~"When it comes to the education of a child with a hearing loss, everyone has an opinion. When I was met with opposition about our choice of communication mode or educational placement for our daughter, I tried not to let myself get drawn into the argument of which was the 'right' one, or the 'better' one. Instead, I merely stated that we felt that this particular choice was best for our child. I made it a point to tell them that I didn't think that their opinion was necessarily wrong, but that right now we felt that the choice we'd made was the best, or most appropriate one for our child. Those who voice their opposition the loudest are usually not going to be swayed anyway, so it is futile to get into an argument with them. I've found it much more productive to change the subject to a more neutral topic. If that doesn't work, then find a way to excuse yourself from the conversation. I decided early on that I had no obligation to justify my decisions to those who do not have a personal stake in my child's life."

~"Don't apologize for the decisions you make for your child. It is your right as a parent to make decisions for your child."

~"We faced disagreements over choosing SEE II over ASL. We informed ourselves, considered our goal of English proficiency for our child, our family's needs, and simply stuck to our conviction. If you face opposition from educators, it is always best to bring an outside party to your Individualized Education Plan (IEP). Never go in there alone, and tape record the meeting if necessary. People will be much more wary of what they say, if it is being taped."

~"That feeling is awful, and I have been made to feel that I am disrespecting the Deaf community. But, how can I be disrespecting them if I am trying to do what I think is best for my child? I think this is the key…to be able to say I am doing what I think is best for my child, and for our family situation. What may be best for someone else may not be best for our family. It is easier said than done, but you have to be strong enough to make the choices based on what best fits the needs of your family."

~"Be straightforward with others. Let them know that this is your decision, and that you are doing what you believe is right. Tell them directly if you appreciate their input or not. Stop those who try to intimidate you, even if you have to tell them it is not their business."

~"It is hard to deal with people who think they know better than you. Get all the information you can, make an informed decision, and let their comments roll off your back, with a forgiving attitude. People just want to help, although it doesn't always feel like that. You are your child's best advocate."

~"Tough as it is at times, when we are faced with disapproval of the choices that we have made for our children, we must not be intimidated by the opinions of others. It is of the utmost importance that you believe in the choice that you have made, and that you stand firm in it. Let people know that this is the decision you have made, and that you firmly believe it is the best one for your child. They are entitled to their opinion, but remember that it is just an opinion. You can see for yourself the progress and success that your decisions have brought about for your child. There is no harm in listening to what other people have to say, and gathering information that might help give you another perspective, but don't be swayed just because they are opinionated. Make sure that what you receive from others and apply is good for your child and for you."

~"Many times people suggested that our child should have a cochlear implant. At that time the technology was new. We listened politely to the suggestion but then moved on. Our child was old enough to have a say in the decision."

~"This is a tough one. Some days it is so hard to be an educator about deafness. I just want to buy my groceries and go home. I just want to enjoy watching my son play baseball. I don't want to explain why we use sign language, or why he doesn't have a cochlear implant. I think the hardest time for me is when my family questions some decision I've made. While they are my family, they don't understand deafness to the depths that I have learned it, lived it, and experienced it. Another tough one is when a deaf adult questions something. That is very intimidating. They've really lived it, while I'm living it through my son. The best advice I can give is to smile and nod at the person who questions you and then go home and call your best friend or someone who will listen and support you, encourage and empower you. Then take a hot bath…"

~"When faced with opposition, try to listen to what the person's opinions are. But remember that not every child is the same. If it becomes more than you can take, distance yourself from that individual. Find another parent who may have a more open mind to the direction you are taking."

~"Ignore it! Yes, I know that is much easier said than done, but often these people are radicals and not everyone holds their view. I am deaf, and these people make us angry and make us look bad. Anyone (parent, educator, physician, etc.) that truly understands, knows that there is no one way for every child. I truly believe that those who claim to know the way show their ignorance and should hide their face in shame."

~"The best thing we've found is to not let yourselves get caught seemingly ignorant of the options open to us. This takes research and study, which of course is hard for busy parents, but when friends, relatives and well meaning others see that you are at least checking into these things, they are less likely to try to push you into making a decision or accuse you of being indecisive. The best answer we've found to give is, 'We just don't want to make a rush decision at this time, and we will make a decision as soon as we have checked into all the different views on the subject.'"

~"You know your child and your family best. I think letting others express their opinions is part of the learning process. Each child is unique, and one size does not fit all. It is not really necessary to defend your choices. You are the one who is with your child, and as parents we have to make decisions that we feel are best. The fact that we are not all the same makes this world a better place."