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Positive Parenting
Finding Alternatives to "No!"
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"No!"At the beginning, when you are not sure that your hard-of-hearing child is understanding your speech, or that you have enough signs to get your message across to your deaf child, one of the easiest ways to deal with behavior is to say or sign, "No!" or "Stop it!" Unfortunately, if we use these words too much, they stop being effective. By the time babies are toddlers, they love to use "No!" themselves! We have to begin early to set limits, because they are in our child's best interest. What are some other ways to stop inappropriate behavior and encourage appropriate behavior?

  • You have already read about stating things positively instead of negatively. You tell or show your baby what to do, instead of what not to do. For example, if your little one is throwing blocks, you can show her how to drop the block in the bucket.
  • You can pick your battles. If you identify behaviors that are dangerous and focus on those, you will give less negative feedback. Chewing on electric cords can be fatal, so discipline is needed. A baby who is throwing a cup off the high chair may be trying to get your attention or has just discovered a fun new game. You can respond by giving attention, or by removing the cup. You will respond to these situations differently. Your goal is to find a balance - you want to protect your baby from injury, but not squelch her curiosity.
  • You can replace one behavior with another. When your baby crawls toward the TV cord, you can replace it with a teething toy in another part of the room.
  • You can praise even a small step toward your goal. If your baby chews on appropriate toys, you can smile, laugh, and say, "Does that feel good?"
  • You can remove your attention. Consistent and meaningful attempts to reach the TV cord can result in time in the playpen or another room, while Mom or Dad sits and reads a book.
  • You can distract your baby with something completely different, maybe something that does not encourage chewing.

And here are some additional hints based on Anne Krueger's Parenting: A Guide to Your Baby's First Year (1999) Ballentine Books: New York.

  • You can remove the object that is causing a problem. If the TV cord is just too fascinating, figure out a way to get it out of sight and out of mind.
  • You can keep your baby away from the problem situation or area. Gate off TV area if your baby keeps treating the cord as a toy. She does not know it is an adult toy.